I feel that I have recently been a bit harsh on Ozies in my blog on a few occasions, and I want to give some gratitude and apologise. Perhaps I am wanting things to be the way I am used to it, and feel that people has to be more like me, and African. I think I expected Australia to be very similar to South Africa, but it's quite different in most regards. There are many really good things about Australians. Ozies are very friendly. I think that South Africans lost their compassion to a certain extent due to the rampant crime. People there keep to themselves and have become much more suspicious. We have been so warmly welcomed into the neighbourhoods here, and even know everybody by name in our whole street. In Malaysia, that would never happen, unless you stay in a very small village. The Australian culture might not be very obvious and striking, but there is qualities that one can distinguish. I think the most obvious one for me is the openness of people once you know them. I'm trying to force myself to think of more things, but I am still exploring and learning about the Ozie culture. What I can say with certainty, is that Australia and Australian are great, and we are honoured and privileged to be part of this huge continent. Thanks to everyone here for being nice to me, and please excuse my sometimes abrupt comments. I am adjusting. Perhaps you would have felt the same if you moved to South Africa or Malaysia... I do believe that being able to look at a culture, being 'seperate' from it is an artistic advantage and I will try to use it positively.
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I am divided between emotions of extreme joy and compassion and then sadness at times. I have Tourette syndrome, and it has made my life rather interesting to say the least. I don't mean to change your perception of me, but perhaps trying to understand my extreme emotions. Jen jokes by saying that I get PMS once a month, but the reality is that most probably it's TS. It's an illness that there is little known about, and it is less obvious once you reach adulthood. There are certainly advantages. The connection between left and right brain lobs are said to be much better, and one continues to explore emotionally and creatively, not blunting off with age as most do, unfortunate to say. It is however a burden to carry. My childhood was extreme, with severe stuttering, being extremely emotional and never fitting in very well, tics and then the unexplained sadness that overwhelmed my whole being at times. It's like depression, but without a tangible cause. Like on Wednesday, I was just so sad, and even felt like crying in the afternoon for absolutely no reason. On Thursday it was better again, and Friday was just fine. It teaches me to withstand emotions, and look at them objectively, separate from me, and push myself back into positiveness. It can fail, and cause me to slumber into depression for longer periods of time.
I'm thankful that I got to know Jesus, and that He has given me a level of stability that I never knew before. Well, Jesus and Jen should get most of the credit. Also for Jen to tolerate my times of PMS so lovingly. It remains both a curse and a blessing to have TS. At the end of the day, I wouldn't have changed a thing in my past. Perhaps I would have used less drugs in my younger days as it might have caused a fair bit of brain damage and short term memory loss. drugs did not broaden my mind, but if anything, it would have shrunk it. Luckily I got out of it quickly, because I might have been dead by now if I didn't. God had a plan all along, and it's to bless me and use my Art as a blessing for others. I'm keen to continue to be used and share my emotions and thoughts with all who might find it amusing. It's certainly gives me a wonderful emotional outlet that I find very useful. One thing we should remember is that there is always reasons why people behave the way they do. Just yesterday I had a friend condeming someone who seems lazy and useless, but the reality is that that person is suffering from depression. Not because he chooses to, but he certainly would have prefered to be different. Everyone has good intentions in their lives, and it depends on how we handle small choices that becomes the big choices in life. How we as individuals shapes and influence a society, a nation and the world, history. I don't mean to sound very philosophical, but it strikes me that people feel that with 7 Billion people around, they are now insignificant. That is a choice that we have, and I choose to make a po |
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